Oh Life!
Some things happen to remind us how fragile life is and it's true we can only guess what the future holds and i just thought about this again, like a week ago.
My heart is deeply saddened for my friend because his girlfriend was killed in a motor vehicle accident. Its hard to accept, really.
Have you ever had those moments when you are in denial, telling yourself "wait this is just a dream" Can someone wake me up? This isnt happening, this can't be"
I've been in that situation before and it changed my life, unexpectedly.
My friend, Charlene, died in an accident but we believe the cause of her death would not have been a simple accident. Words cant describe the hurt, pain, guilt, regret I've felt, all these profound emotions I've dealt with.
***
We always work the same shift and I was with her that night, but I had to stay for another hour to work on some stuff. She asked me if i wanted her to wait for me so we can go to Glorietta for the midnight sale. I told her to just go and i feel tired anyway. I dont know but she was extra sweet that night, holding my hand, hugging me, brushing my hair while telling me shes excited to buy new clothes, changing her hair color etc etc.
She was lovely with a very lively spirit.She was thoughtful and kind, a loving daughter, a liyal friend. Thats how I remember Cha.
And its true, you never know when you might be seeing someone for the last time.
She left at work and I went home, and I couldnt sleep that night. I heard the phone, and it was ringing at 1 am
Then my brother came and told me, Ate, your friend is on the phone. I was hesistant to take the call, like duh its late but he said i think its emergency, go answer it shes crying. And i swear in that moment, it feels like my heart wants to come out.
I picked up the phone and it was Valerie.She said, Kat, something happened to Cha and shes in the hospital right now. I was speechless, like something was stuck in my throat. I stare at the wall in total disbelief.
I tried to sleep that night with a heavy heart, thinking how could it be? what happened? I cried and I was praying to God "please save her"
I fell asleep and dreamed of her that night, it was so vivid and she told me "Kat dont worry about me, im fine now, im happy"
I woke up crying, i was terrified because I know that its time for her to go. I went to the hospital and found her in morgue. I remember seeing her in that way, worst scenario ever and it didnt feel right. I touched her face, and the body that once was warm is now cold.
I spent my days crying, havent been eating good, not sleeping, partly, because I was blaming myself with thoughts of "if only, i made her stay, if only I went to Glorietta.None of these would have happened.
I was depressed for months, i couldnt sleep with the lights off, i was scared and I always say, Cha, please dont appear in front of me, dont scare me ok?
I often see her in my dream before, its weird because it happens when I am sad, she would tell me "Kat everything will be okay" and I can still remember the last dream i had about her. She was wearing a white dress and waving at me and told me its time for me to go and she did mention the word "crossover".
I felt a sign of relief after, thinking shes in heaven now. I still think of her sometimes and miss her but for me not to feel the pain anymore, i just reframed my thoughts that she lives abroad now. She lives in a far away place where internet is not available.
**
Life is short so dont take it for granted. If you want to say something to someone, just do it.
My heart is deeply saddened for my friend because his girlfriend was killed in a motor vehicle accident. Its hard to accept, really.
Have you ever had those moments when you are in denial, telling yourself "wait this is just a dream" Can someone wake me up? This isnt happening, this can't be"
I've been in that situation before and it changed my life, unexpectedly.
My friend, Charlene, died in an accident but we believe the cause of her death would not have been a simple accident. Words cant describe the hurt, pain, guilt, regret I've felt, all these profound emotions I've dealt with.
***
We always work the same shift and I was with her that night, but I had to stay for another hour to work on some stuff. She asked me if i wanted her to wait for me so we can go to Glorietta for the midnight sale. I told her to just go and i feel tired anyway. I dont know but she was extra sweet that night, holding my hand, hugging me, brushing my hair while telling me shes excited to buy new clothes, changing her hair color etc etc.
She was lovely with a very lively spirit.She was thoughtful and kind, a loving daughter, a liyal friend. Thats how I remember Cha.
And its true, you never know when you might be seeing someone for the last time.
She left at work and I went home, and I couldnt sleep that night. I heard the phone, and it was ringing at 1 am
Then my brother came and told me, Ate, your friend is on the phone. I was hesistant to take the call, like duh its late but he said i think its emergency, go answer it shes crying. And i swear in that moment, it feels like my heart wants to come out.
I picked up the phone and it was Valerie.She said, Kat, something happened to Cha and shes in the hospital right now. I was speechless, like something was stuck in my throat. I stare at the wall in total disbelief.
I tried to sleep that night with a heavy heart, thinking how could it be? what happened? I cried and I was praying to God "please save her"
I fell asleep and dreamed of her that night, it was so vivid and she told me "Kat dont worry about me, im fine now, im happy"
I woke up crying, i was terrified because I know that its time for her to go. I went to the hospital and found her in morgue. I remember seeing her in that way, worst scenario ever and it didnt feel right. I touched her face, and the body that once was warm is now cold.
I spent my days crying, havent been eating good, not sleeping, partly, because I was blaming myself with thoughts of "if only, i made her stay, if only I went to Glorietta.None of these would have happened.
I was depressed for months, i couldnt sleep with the lights off, i was scared and I always say, Cha, please dont appear in front of me, dont scare me ok?
I often see her in my dream before, its weird because it happens when I am sad, she would tell me "Kat everything will be okay" and I can still remember the last dream i had about her. She was wearing a white dress and waving at me and told me its time for me to go and she did mention the word "crossover".
I felt a sign of relief after, thinking shes in heaven now. I still think of her sometimes and miss her but for me not to feel the pain anymore, i just reframed my thoughts that she lives abroad now. She lives in a far away place where internet is not available.
**
Life is short so dont take it for granted. If you want to say something to someone, just do it.
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